5:25), I employed the teachings about submission I learned as a girl. (Mark 9:24). The gospel was just beginning to take root in the Roman Empire, and as it infiltrated cities, it also infiltrated homes. At the time, I was already above the age of 25, so my non-Christian parents were anxious to see me marriedbut not to a Christian. Without Christ in his heart no man can change, no matter how hard he tries. And asked how you can support them? He treats me like a queen. Trusting the lord. We dated and lived together for 6 years before I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart. introduction to my testimony; 2). If you are a Christian married to an unbeliever, continue to trust God with your marriage and in your own faith walk. Deb points out that she hasnt lost her faith on purpose, and it certainly wasnt her desire to hurt her husband or her Christian friends. Having all the right answers didnt save me, and it wont save my husband. She trusts God that he is in control. The good news, however, is that Christ died to cover your sins with His blood and there is forgiveness at the foot of the cross and the empty tomb. Whether my marriage endures or not, Christ will come, and his church will rise. He goes through periods, she says, when he is not bothered by it, but then he is suddenly very antagonistic. 3:6). I don't want to consider divorce (I know God hates divorce). Marriage is a sacred covenant that joins two people together in one flesh ( Matthew 19:5 ). Even an unequally yoked marriage. Even if what you really want to do is work away. He even refuses to open a bank account for me. To put it lightly, he's a danger to himself, and considering the fact that he seems to DEPEND on me for good well-being, I'm up against a wall. Even then, you must make clear to him that a future with you is not promised. I have been saved by the Grace of God since 1991. I really believed that I loved the Lord too. Copyright 2023 The Gospel Coalition, INC. All Rights Reserved. Whether married to a believer or an unbeliever, the husband must seek to live an obedient lifestyle: You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered (1 Pet 3:7). That is why we encourage you to read these testimonies. It cannot bear the weight of those needs and longings. The argument against knowingly marrying an unbeliever rests more heavily on a positive, whole-Bible theology of the nature of marriage and its purposes. So I went along, and the ministers wife had prepped another mum to talk to me. I was married to an unbeliever for six years before he got saved. It is about a daily, sometimes minute by minute laying down of selfish ways, forgiveness, not neglecting God's word or quiet time with your Savior and being obedient to God's word- and pray, pray, pray. I knew we should not have been unequally yoked and went against Gods word, believing that because my husband said he was saved it was enough. For the moment, though, here goes: There are only three ways an unequal marriage can turn out, (and by unequal I am willing to stretch a point and include genuine, warm Christians who want to marry an in-name-only Christian, or someone very, very far behind them in Christian experience and growth): 1. Sheila writes about marriage, motherhood, depression, and healthcare, and she occasionally publishes poetry. I know Im no better than him. All of our resources exist to guide you toward everlasting joy in Jesus Christ. I couldnt relate to anyone. My marriage is a broken shadow of a jaw-dropping glory. I recently had another opportunity to exercise forgiveness toward people in my life who have hurt me. Affiliate disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases on Amazon.com. We are always either with Jesus or against him (Matthew 12:30). This is a life testimony, thank God. I am a Christian, but he's not. And when done properly, our new acquaintances open their lives . I started going along to a great youth group, full of hunky surfers I was in heaven! Being married to an unbeliever can be one of the most difficult challenges in a Christian's life. I sinned against her out of anger today and I'm ashamed but she told me to my face she refuses to forgive me and it broke me. Nothing is impossible for Him. So this time I am staying with my heavenly Father while Jesus goes to the darkness to save my husband. Should he resist, which would be normal, youd turn up the heat. You need to follow Jesus, and . If God has given you a testimony, a personal experience you have lived through in living with an unbelieving spouse your marriage one that could help and encourage others, we would appreciate it if you would write it down and send it to us even if what you have to write isnt very long in length. If holidays with your family leave you feeling depressed, it may be time for some new resolutions. Satan, will fill you with fear, doubt, anxiety, and condemnation. My wife began dating me as an unbeliever. Eventually the depression lifted but I still couldnt relate to God, Deb says. May you be eventually see the benefits. I love the lord. Clarifying My Superpower In that first year of marriage, I cried to God: I can't do this! Whether you became a believer after getting married or chose to marry knowing you would be unequally yoked, you can still honor God in your marriage. That word could be used to describe a particular marriage between a Christian and an unbeliever. While the single life is not without trials, remember you are not alone. In light of this challenge, here are three stories of Christians married to non-Christians, emerging from three very different circumstances, Mia, married at 21. It is not easy for women to find a good man, and to be honest it is not easy for a man to find a good woman. As you seek Gods will, hide yourself in him and his will, and wait with patience for the day he will wipe away every tear. He knew that I used to be a Christian woman before I met him but had stumbled in my path. Additionally, I think you might be greatly encouraged by a marriage message called Love and Respect, presented by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (available both as a two-day seminar and a DVD). Youd develop clear goals for your marriage, and discover the ways you enable him not to change. Learning to speak the truth in love to my husband has required me to stop seeing the call to submission through cultural stereotypes. When it comes to their children, she hopes that having parents with different sets of beliefs will allow them to make a more mature decision if they follow Jesus themselves. Whether its in a romantic relationship, a friendship, at work, or in an interaction with a family member, too often we react when instead we should respond. By the husband; rather, in the brother. But the faithfulness of God is a mountain, remaining intact even if my marriage doesnt. The consequences of my action led me to a godly sorrow, which caused my repentance towards God. I finally have a man that loves me and shows me. I was no longer in love with my husband and I wanted "out" of my marriage. The word says its better to marry to be honourable in Gods eyes. Should he come to saving faith, it must be to have God, not to have a wife. We are to remain married to the unbeliever after we accept Christ into our hearts. Youve admittedly made some mistakes. But I think its only right when God opens that door and a truly repentant man returns to you. While certainly the Scripture warns about that, God can still redeem your marriage. He has finally decided to go for rehab and therapy but he is still using. Answer (1 of 16): Ignoring God's words is not wise. If you truly love him, your concern for his soul should outweigh your hopes for marriage. I didnt tell him for four months because I was scared of what hed think, she says. I believe God can restore marriages and heal broken relationships, but I believe this is something HE will do. God may even redeem the situation in a surprising way for his glory if it is handled well. She set an example for her husband without nagging him or leaving spiritual reading material all over the house. Not that these are bad things, but it is God who needs to open the eyes of their heart. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Copyright 2010 Candice Watters. Read his word. Believe me, there are many. 21:2). He doesn't give instruction to the unbeliever because they do not submit to God and it would be pointless. I know God has allowed this to happen to draw me closer to him. Following the birth of their children, they moved to a new town and Louisa was looking for friends. I trust that, if you are willing to listen, the Holy Spirit will lead you into the truth that gaining a husband while forsaking your soul is a trade you do not want to make (Mark 8:36). There may be other Christians in the dark that can reach out to your spouse, but we have to be at that place where we would still praise God even if they are never to return before God can bring them back. While you are to be applauded for loving your husband, it is nave to think a mate will change simply because of being loved, though we certainly wish it would be so. Please pray for this guy, even if it leads to no where that you want as far as dating. I was in trauma, suicidal it was just really hard not to kill myself, she says. It all started in August 2015, when my family members introduced me to Alex*. Of course, if your husband would watch it with you, all the better. It's true that Scripture speaks against being "unequally yoked.". I also believed before marriage, that once my fianc and I were married, it would be less than a year that he would discover Jesus and come to faith. The point, again, is that the Christian is not to divorce the unbeliever but remain in the marriage. And not always did both spouses become believers. Help! Find a man in my area! For more on the pastoral side, see "When one spouse is an unbeliever" and "How to counsel those married to non believers". I am very happy about that. I felt the Lord asked me would I forgive him if it meant his salvation? Christ died to cover your sins with His blood. I long to win my husband to Christ, but I can never squeeze him into belief. But she adds that its not their job to argue her back into the kingdom. He is unsaved at the time when I met him I had walked astray from the word of God, but while dating him I slowly began to find my way back to the Lord. This was the main way that people became spiritually single in the New Testament. Everything except hes not a Christian. In Hosea it is after God takes Gomer into the wilderness and hedges her in and speaks words of loving kindness over her, that Hosea takes her back. When I expressed this, he glanced at me with a look that said. The second thing you must do is to truly come to terms with what you believe the Bible says about Christians dating or . I wish you could see a glimpse of a future in which you remained faithful to your vows to a man who remained faithless toward your Savior. I Work for a Pastor with Low Emotional Intelligence, Split or Stay? (USA) Im a reborn christian and I have been dating this guy for a few months now. I know what the Bible says in 1Peter 3 verse 1-6. In order to be more in sync with your . We will not to reveal your name and the name(s) of your loved ones if that is your wish. On a deeper level, the way I respond to him, on a good day, is by showing grace. Christ is able to help my unbelief, and hes able to help my husband believe. You can find her at her blog Sojourning Sheila, and on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. That superpower is the faithfulness of God. Big trouble arises when you have children and you want your children dedicated to the Lord. It has worked for Christians in the past and I am sure it will work for you. Simon and Deb met at Bible college, married quickly and almost immediately had their first child. Believers can struggle just as much as unbelievers. Are you absolutely sure you wont regret committing yourself until death to someone who might never help you see or love Jesus more? VIC, Anglican Diocesan Services, Canberra, ACT, Sydney Missionary and Bible College, Croydon, NSW, St Andrew's Anglican Church, Roseville, NSW, Grace West Anglican Church, Glenmore Park and Silverdale, NSW, NSW Court Chaplains Association, Sydney, NSW, Anglican Deaconess Ministries, Sydney, NSW, St Philip's Anglican Church, Eastwood, NSW, Argyll Law, Illawarra NSW, remote work considered, Minchinbury Anglican Church, Minchinbury, NSW, The Anglican Schools Corporation, Middleton Grange, NSW, Riverbank Christian Church, Launceston, TAS, City on a Hill Wollongong, Wollongong, NSW, St James Anglican Church, Turramurra, NSW. I feel sick to my stomach after reading these articles. 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